Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Book Review: Everyone Communicates Few Connect
One of the panelists we had at the Momentum 2010 conference was really engaging, and I had the feeling that I would really like to get to know her better. I didn't remember her name, but when we had our breakout sessions, my sister remembered her, and recommended that we choose her talk. Audra was wonderful, and really connected with the audience. One of the stories she told was about being on a plane, and giving her a goal of really connecting with someone else on the plane. Her intent was to have the other person want to continue the connection by asking for her business card before they went their separate ways.
While this is a good idea, there were other good lessons in her speech, and I pretty much pooh-poohed the idea. I'm not an extrovert, and I'm not sure that connecting with everybody is something that I want to put on my list of things to do. I've got other things to do, and it just seems manipulative, to try to connect with people so you can get what you want. I'm not sure I like the idea of having a hidden agenda when I talk with people.
Then I started reading the book I got to review by John Maxwell. It's called Everyone Communicates; Few Connect; What the Most Effective People Do Differently. It starts off wonderfully by telling you the importance of connection. Sure we all know that we should connect, but I really needed this introduction to kick me into making the effort. It reminded me of the times I was working hard while watching other people around me get promoted, the times when my boyfriend and I were saying the same thing, yet were arguing about it, and many other times. I am now ready to acknowledge that even though I can communicate fine - people understand me, I can generally communicate my thoughts both orally and in writing, and listen pretty well - a very important source of problems in my life is my failure to connect.
It's not that I never connect with people, it's just that I need to learn how to connect so that things can go more smoothly.
The book offers Five Connecting Principles and the Five Connecting Practices to help you learn how to make these connections. The book is easy to read and very helpful. I think I just might try some of these principles and practices, and see if it helps. It certainly can't hurt!
I haven't been paid for this review, but I did get the book for free from Booksneeze.com in exchange for the review. "If you have a blog, and enjoy reviewing books, you can receive free books from BookSneeze, a Thomas Nelson company. Simply fill out the application here and once you are approved, you can choose a book from their selection here. In exchange, you are asked to post a review on your blog and a consumer website of 200 words or more. Once you provide BookSneeze with the link to your review, you can log in and request another book.